170 Funny Hockey Puns Jokes and One Liners

Looking for the best hockey jokes, puns, and one-liners to keep the ice from getting too serious? Here’s a collection of 170 funny hockey puns jokes and one liners that will make you laugh harder than a slap shot to the funny bone! 😂

170 Funny Hockey Puns Jokes and One Liners

🧊 Hockey Puns to Break the Ice ❄️

1. I’d tell you a hockey joke, but it might go over your head—like a flying puck!
2. Life’s a rink, so skate through it with a smile.
3. I’m puck-ing tired, but I’ll stick around for one more joke.
4. Keep your stick on the ice and your jokes even cooler.
5. That goal was so good, it deserved a standing Zamboni-tion!
6. I’m on thin ice with my puns, but I’ll skate by.
7. Don’t be a goalie—let the fun in!
8. I’d love to stick around, but I’ve got to shoot off.
9. Hockey players are great comedians—they always deliver slap-stick humor.
10. My favorite drink? Ice tea, served on the rink.

Also Read: 100+ Hilarious April Fools Day Jokes You’ll Love

😂 Slapstick Hockey Jokes 🥅

11. Why was the hockey player good at math? He always knew how to calculate angles.
12. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Heavy slap-metal!
13. Why did the puck break up with the stick? It felt used.
14. How do hockey players stay cool? They sit next to the fans.
15. Why don’t hockey players use the internet? Too many cross-checks.
16. What’s a hockey player’s favorite breakfast? Slapjacks.
17. Why did the hockey team go to the bakery? They needed more turnovers.
18. How do hockey players greet each other? “Ice to meet you!”
19. What’s a hockey player’s favorite kind of tea? Penalt-tea.
20. Why do hockey players make great friends? They always stick together.

🏆 Goalie Jokes That’ll Block Out Boredom 🛑

21. Why did the goalie go to art school? To improve his save-strokes.
22. What do you call a goalie with no friends? A lone-saver.
23. Why was the goalie always calm? He knew how to handle pressure.
24. How does a goalie stay organized? With a tight net-work.
25. Why did the goalie bring a ladder to the rink? To reach new heights in saves.
26. Goalies never get bored—they’re always on the defense.
27. What’s a goalie’s favorite exercise? Lunges—they help with saves.
28. Why did the goalie bring string to the game? To tie the score.
29. Goalies don’t tell jokes—they block them.
30. A goalie’s favorite hobby? Catching up with saves.

🥳 Penalty Puns for the Power Play 🚨

31. I got a penalty for having too much fun on the ice.
32. Why was the hockey player sent to the penalty box? Too pun-ny!
33. Life without hockey is a major penalty.
34. That joke was a 2-minute penalty for excessive laughter.
35. Don’t cross-check my humor—I’m on a roll!
36. I’d make another joke, but I’m in the penalty box.
37. Got sent to the penalty box for stealing hearts.
38. My jokes are like power plays—high risk, high reward.
39. Penalty for bad puns? Two minutes of reflection.
40. I committed a pun-alty—hope I don’t get benched.

🚀 One-Liners That Hit Harder Than a Slap Shot 💥

41. Hockey players always deliver—just like a perfect pass.
42. Ice is temporary, but hockey is forever.
43. I play defense in life—blocking negativity.
44. Life’s better when you’re on the power play.
45. My heart beats to the rhythm of hockey skates.
46. Hockey: where bruises are badges of honor.
47. Cold rinks, warm hearts, and endless goals.
48. My goal in life? To score more goals.
49. Skating through life one rink at a time.
50. Hockey isn’t just a game—it’s a way of life.

Also Read: 170 Detective Puns Jokes and One Liners

🧢 Locker Room Laughs 🚿

51. Why don’t hockey players shower together? They don’t want to stick around too long.
52. What did the hockey stick say in the locker room? “I’m feeling a bit bent out of shape.”
53. Why do hockey players bring soap to the rink? For a clean hit.
54. Locker room rule #1: No checking in the mirror.
55. What’s a hockey player’s least favorite locker room chore? Folding penalty minutes.
56. Why was the locker room always noisy? Too many hat tricks.
57. Hockey players love lockers—they keep things goal-oriented.
58. Don’t trust a locker room rumor—it’s probably a cross-check.
59. What’s a hockey player’s locker filled with? Goals, dreams, and maybe some old socks.
60. The locker room’s motto? “Stick together.”

🧽 Zamboni Zingers ❄️

61. Why did the Zamboni apply for a job? It wanted a smooth career.
62. What’s a Zamboni’s favorite hobby? Ice sculpting.
63. Zambonis aren’t just machines—they’re ice therapists.
64. Why don’t Zambonis play hockey? They’d sweep the competition.
65. How does a Zamboni relax? It chills out.
66. I wanted to be a Zamboni driver, but I couldn’t handle the pressure.
67. Zambonis: making ice great again.
68. Why did the Zamboni go to school? To polish its skills.
69. The Zamboni’s catchphrase? “I’ve got this covered.”
70. Never argue with a Zamboni—it’ll just roll over you.

👨‍👧 Hockey Dad Jokes 🧢

71. Why do hockey dads love the rink? It’s where they can ice their dad jokes.
72. What’s a hockey dad’s favorite exercise? Ice lunges.
73. “Did you hear the joke about the hockey puck? Never mind, it’s going over your head.”
74. Why did the hockey dad bring a pencil to the game? To draw penalties.
75. Hockey dads love cold rinks—it keeps their jokes fresh.
76. My dad told me a hockey joke, but I let it slide.
77. Why did the hockey dad wear two jackets? In case he got a hat trick.
78. Hockey dads don’t get old—they just get better at face-offs.
79. I asked my dad for advice on hockey. He said, “Just wing it.”
80. Hockey dads: masters of ice and puns.

More Hilarious Hockey Jokes to Keep You Laughing 🤣

81. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? To tie the score.
82. Hockey players love donuts—they’re all about the goal holes.
83. What’s a hockey player’s favorite dance? The power play shuffle.
84. Why did the hockey player sit on the bench? He needed to cool off.
85. How do hockey players stay warm? They break the ice.
86. Why was the hockey stick so confident? It had a great handle on things.
87. I told my hockey team a joke—they said it was a real slap shot.
88. What do you call a hockey player who can’t score? A puck passer.
89. Why did the hockey player wear a cape? To be the goalie-hero.
90. How do hockey players communicate? Through puck-to-puck talk.

More Hilarious Hockey Jokes to Keep You Laughing 🤣

91. Why did the referee bring a pencil to the game? To draw penalties!
92. Why did the hockey player wear a tutu? He wanted to show he was a “ballet” player.
93. How does a hockey player stay cool on the ice? By wearing their fan gear!
94. Why did the puck join the band? It was looking for a good “hit.”
95. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of tree? A pine, because it’s great for the penalty box!
96. Why do hockey players make great detectives? They always know how to stick to the facts.
97. What do you call a player who spends too much time at the rink? A rink rat!
98. Why did the hockey team go to school? They needed to work on their “defensive” strategies.
99. What did the coach say to the hockey player who was always late? “You need to get your head in the game!”
100. What’s a hockey player’s favorite snack? Puck-eroni pizza!

🚨 Off the Ice, On the Laughs 🥅

101. Why do hockey players always have great parties? Because they know how to check off the list!
102. What’s a hockey player’s favorite car? A “stick” shift.
103. Why did the coach bring a ladder to the game? To help with goal-scoring!
104. Why did the defenseman go to therapy? He needed help “blocking” his emotions!
105. How does a hockey player fix a broken stick? With a little “puck” duct tape!
106. Why do hockey players make bad comedians? They can’t always get a “good slapshot”!
107. What’s a hockey player’s favorite sport after hockey? Ice dancing!
108. Why did the goalie bring a pillow to the game? He wanted to be well-rested for all the saves.
109. What do you call a great hockey player who never gets injured? A “stick” to his game.
110. Why did the hockey player have a great relationship? He knew how to handle the “checks”!

🧊 Fun Puns From the Rink ⛸️

111. What did the hockey puck say to the stick? “You’re really on a roll today!”
112. Why is hockey a dangerous game? There’s always a lot of “slapstick” humor involved!
113. Why was the hockey team always good at telling jokes? They were masters at “ice-breaking.”
114. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? He needed a “checking” account.
115. How do hockey players maintain a good attitude? They know how to “stick” with it.
116. Why are hockey players like basketball players? They know how to get a “slam dunk” when needed!
117. What’s a hockey player’s favorite game on the phone? Icebreaker!
118. Why don’t hockey players play chess? They can’t handle too much “check”ing.
119. How did the hockey player pay for the dinner? With a credit “slap” card!
120. Why did the goalie get a promotion? He always knew how to make a “save”!

🏅 Goal-Getter Gags for Hockey Fans

121. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good “beat”!
122. Why was the puck feeling down? It was stuck in a “goalie trap.”
123. How do hockey players greet each other? With a “power play” handshake!
124. Why do hockey players never gossip? They’re always too “focused” on the game!
125. What do you call a hockey player who loves to talk? A “penalty box” chatterbox.
126. Why did the hockey player bring a towel? To “wipe out” the competition!
127. What’s a hockey player’s favorite season? Slap-shot season!
128. Why did the hockey player become a detective? To solve the “mystery” of the missing puck!
129. Why did the hockey player’s team break up? They couldn’t “stick” together.
130. What’s a hockey player’s favorite thing to do when they’re tired? “Resting” on their laurels (and sticks!).

🏒 Power Play Punchlines

131. What did the hockey team say after a successful play? “That was a ‘goal’-mine!”
132. How do hockey players stay sharp? They keep their “edge” on the ice.
133. What’s a hockey player’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Fortune” – they’re always looking for a “breakaway.”
134. Why did the hockey player sit out the game? He didn’t want to get “hooked” into anything.
135. What did the goalie say when asked about his job? “It’s a “net” gain for me.”
136. Why did the hockey player start writing books? He wanted to be an author of “slap-shots.”
137. What’s a hockey player’s favorite thing to do on a weekend? “Skate” into a good time!
138. What did the coach tell the player who kept missing the puck? “You need to focus more on your ‘stick’ skills.”
139. What did the hockey player say when he found his lost skate? “Phew! I’m ‘skating’ on thin ice now!”
140. How did the hockey player show appreciation? By giving a “stick-tacular” high five!

🏆 Ice-Cool Hockey Humor for Everyone

141. What did the coach say to the team after the game? “You really ‘puck’ed the competition!”
142. Why don’t hockey players tell secrets? Because they’re always “spilling the puck.”
143. What’s a hockey player’s least favorite vegetable? “Ice”berg lettuce!
144. What did the player say after making a great pass? “That’s how we ‘stick’ together!”
145. How do you stop a hockey player from scoring? Put them in a “puck-ing” timeout.
146. What did the goalie say to his defenseman? “I need you to ‘clear’ the area!”
147. What’s the most frustrating thing for a hockey player? Missing the “net” in life.
148. Why did the hockey player refuse to retire? He didn’t want to “face off” with the end.
149. What do you call a hockey player who won’t quit? A “skate” artist.
150. What did the coach say when the team was struggling? “We need to ‘shift’ the strategy.”

🏅 More Puck-Loving Punchlines

151. What’s a hockey player’s favorite TV show? “Ice” Age!
152. Why do hockey players love to read? They can’t resist a good “check-out.”
153. What’s the hardest part of being a goalie? It’s always about taking the “hit.”
154. Why did the hockey player bring a fan to practice? To keep the “ice” cool.
155. What’s a hockey player’s least favorite class? “Cross-checking” history.
156. Why did the goalie take his stick to the bar? He wanted a “shot.”
157. How does a hockey player show confidence? With a solid “puck” stance.
158. Why did the hockey player miss the goal? His aim was off, so it wasn’t “game on.”
159. What’s a hockey player’s favorite workout? Ice lunges!
160. Why did the hockey player love a good pun? Because it was a “slap-shot” joke!

🏒 Final Whistles and Laughter

161. Why do hockey players enjoy going to the zoo? They love “checking” out the animals.
162. What’s a hockey player’s favorite time of day? “Power play” hours.
163. How do hockey players say goodbye? “Stick around for the next shift!”
164. Why did the goalie start a podcast? He wanted to “block” out the competition.
165. What did the hockey player do at the comedy show? He got “slap-stick” humor!
166. Why did the referee go to the ice rink? To “ref” the whole party!
167. How did the hockey player react when he lost his stick? He was “stuck” in a bad situation.
168. Why did the hockey player hate doing laundry? Because it was always a “penalty” for his gear!
169. What’s a hockey player’s favorite TV channel? The “Hockey Network.”
170. What did the hockey player say when he hit a great goal? “That’s a ‘puck’-ing masterpiece!”

Conclusion

And there you have it—170 funny hockey puns jokes and one liners that are sure to score big laughs! Whether you’re chilling in the locker room, watching a game, or just trying to break the ice, these jokes will keep the fun going. Share them with your hockey buddies and let the laughter echo like a puck off the boards! 🏒😂