911 calls are meant for emergencies, but sometimes, they turn into comedy gold! People call for the weirdest reasons, and emergency responders hear the funniest things. In this blog, we’ve compiled 101 hilarious 911 jokes that will make you laugh out loud. From funny misunderstandings to firefighter, police, and paramedic humor, get ready for some emergency-themed giggles! 😆
101 Hilarious 911 Jokes To Make You Laugh Out Loud
1. Funny 911 Call Misunderstandings
- Caller: “Help! My house is on fire!”
Operator: “Sir, stay calm! How do we get there?”
Caller: “In a big red truck!” - 911 Operator: “What’s your emergency?”
Caller: “My wife is going into labor!”
911: “Is this her firstborn?”
Caller: “No, this is her husband!” - Caller: “I need help! My car is stuck in reverse!”
Operator: “Where are you?”
Caller: “Going back to where I started!” - Caller: “There’s a deer on my lawn!”
Operator: “Is it hurt?”
Caller: “No, but he won’t pay rent!” - Caller: “I need an ambulance! My stomach hurts!”
Operator: “What did you eat?”
Caller: “A whole pizza… plus my brother’s!”
2. Firefighter Jokes
- Why did the firefighter wear red suspenders?
- To keep his pants from falling down while saving lives!
- What do firefighters and cats have in common?
- They both love climbing trees!
- Why did the fireman bring a ladder to the bar?
- Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
- What do you call a firefighter who loves jokes?
- A smoke alarmist!
- Why don’t firefighters ever get lost?
- They always follow the hose!
3. Police Jokes
- Why did the cop sit on the clock?
- Because he wanted to work overtime!
- Why did the robber take a bath?
- Because he wanted to make a clean getaway!
- Why do cops love donuts?
- Because they always have time to kill!
- What do police dogs call criminals?
- Barking up the wrong tree!
- Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?
- Because he heard there was a stolen base!
4. Ambulance & Paramedic Jokes
- Why did the paramedic carry a red pen?
- In case they needed to draw blood!
- What’s a paramedic’s favorite TV show?
- “Grey’s Anatomy” – for all the medical drama!
- What do you call an ambulance full of bees?
- A swarmbulance!
- Why did the EMT break up with his girlfriend?
- She needed too much resuscitation!
- What’s an ambulance’s favorite type of music?
- Anything with a siren beat!
Also Read: 175 Dark Humor Jokes & Puns That’ll Make You Laugh
5. Silly 911 Callers
- Caller: “I swallowed a penny!”
Operator: “How do you feel?”
Caller: “Like change is coming!” - 911 Operator: “Sir, where are you?”
Caller: “I’m in my house!”
911: “What’s your address?”
Caller: “Oh, I never send myself mail!” - Caller: “I think my phone is broken!”
Operator: “How are you calling me then?”
Caller: “Oh… never mind!” - Caller: “I need help! My cat is stuck in a tree!”
911: “Have you tried calling the fire department?”
Caller: “No, my cat doesn’t have a phone!” - Caller: “My pizza delivery is late!”
Operator: “Sir, this is 911!”
Caller: “I know! It’s an emergency!”
6. More Funny 911 Call Misunderstandings
- Caller: “Help! My WiFi is down!”
Operator: “Sir, this is for life-threatening emergencies!”
Caller: “It is! How do I watch Netflix now?” - Caller: “I locked myself out of my car!”
911: “Where are your keys?”
Caller: “In the ignition… and the car is running.”
911: “Where’s the car?”
Caller: “On the highway. It just left without me!” - Caller: “My husband won’t stop snoring!”
Operator: “Ma’am, that’s not an emergency.”
Caller: “It is! He sounds like a chainsaw!” - Caller: “I need an officer right now!”
Operator: “What’s the emergency?”
Caller: “My neighbor took my parking spot!” - Caller: “I lost my phone!”
Operator: “How are you calling me?”
Caller: “Oh… never mind!”
7. Firefighter Jokes Continued
- Why did the firefighter bring a ladder to the bank?
- Because he heard the money was in high demand!
- How do firefighters like their steaks?
- Well-done but not burnt!
- Why do firefighters always carry a hose?
- Because they never water down a problem!
- What’s a firefighter’s favorite type of humor?
- Dry humor – no flames attached!
- Why did the fire chief bring a GPS?
- So he wouldn’t get lost in the smoke!
Also Read: 115 Gummy Bear Puns to Make You Smile
8. Police Jokes Continued
- Why did the cop pull over the ghost?
- Because he didn’t have a license to haunt!
- What do you call a criminal with bad manners?
- A rude-offender!
- Why did the police officer go to music school?
- Because he wanted to learn how to conduct himself!
- Why did the cop arrest the calendar?
- Because it had too many dates!
- Why did the thief go to therapy?
- He couldn’t stop taking things personally!
9. Paramedic & Ambulance Jokes Continued
- What do paramedics and DJs have in common?
- They both know how to pump up the beats!
- Why did the EMT get promoted?
- Because he always gave 100cc%!
- What’s an ambulance’s favorite dance move?
- The siren shuffle!
- Why did the paramedic bring a pillow?
- In case someone needed a nap-ectomy!
- What’s a paramedic’s favorite game?
- Operation!
10. More Silly 911 Callers
- Caller: “Help! My dog won’t stop barking!”
911: “That’s not an emergency.”
Caller: “It is! He just woke up my baby!” - Caller: “Can I get a ride to the mall?”
911: “Sir, this is an emergency line!”
Caller: “Exactly! There’s a 50% sale!” - Caller: “I need help! My pizza is too hot!”
911: “Sir, that’s not a 911 call.”
Caller: “It is when I burn my tongue!” - Caller: “My cat just sneezed. Should I call an ambulance?”
911: “No, ma’am. It’s just a sneeze!”
Caller: “But what if it’s cat flu?” - Caller: “Help! I think my microwave is haunted!”
911: “Why do you think that?”
Caller: “It beeped, and I wasn’t even near it!”
11. Crime & Robbery Jokes
- What’s a thief’s favorite exercise?
- Running from the cops!
- Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
- He kneaded the dough!
- What do robbers eat for breakfast?
- Crook-o-puffs!
- Why did the robber take a ladder?
- He wanted to make a high-stakes escape!
- What’s a criminal’s least favorite vegetable?
- The turnip – because they always turn up in court!
12. Kid-Friendly 911 Jokes
- Why did the kid call 911?
- Because his toy car ran out of gas!
- What did one firetruck say to the other?
- “I’m hosed!”
- Why do police love playing hide and seek?
- Because good cops always find you!
- Why did the teddy bear call 911?
He was stuffed and needed help! - What’s a baby ambulance called?
- A mini-medic!
13. Animal Emergency Jokes
- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- To get to the 911 operator!
- Why did the cow call 911?
- It was having a moo-gency!
- What do you call a horse who needs first aid?
- Neigh-cident victim!
- Why did the cat dial 911?
- It had a purr-blem!
- Why did the dog call the fire department?
It saw a hot dog stand on fire!
14. 911 Call Center Jokes
- What do 911 operators say when they’re confused?
- “I need backup!”
- Why did the operator go on vacation?
- Too many calls – not enough patience!
- What’s a 911 operator’s favorite movie?
- “Dial M for Mystery!”
- Why do 911 operators never panic?
- Because they’re always on call!
- What did the operator say to the prank caller?
- “You’re dialing up trouble!”
15. Hilarious Emergency Situations
- Why did the couch call 911?
- Because it had too many sit-uations!
- Why did the chef call 911?
- He had a burning passion for cooking – literally!
- Why did the baseball player call 911?
- Because he got caught stealing a base!
- Why did the librarian call 911?
- Someone returned a book 10 years late!
- Why did the gym instructor call 911?
- He had an extreme case of muscle soreness!
16. More Random 911 Jokes
- 76. Caller: “I need help! My sandwich is missing!”
- 77. Caller: “I ran out of milk! Can the fire department bring some?”
- 78. Why did the astronaut call 911? He lost space
- 79. What do you call a 911 operator who loves pranks? A call-jester!
- 80. Why did the clock call 911? It was running out of time!
- 81. Why did the beachgoer call 911? The tide was too high
- 82. What’s a baker’s worst emergency? A flour explosion!
- 83. Why did the math teacher call 911? Too many problems!
- 84. Why did the student call 911? Homework overload!
- 85. Caller: “I lost my TV remote! Can you send help?”
- 86. Caller: “My ice cream is melting too fast! Do I call 911 or the fire department?”
- 87. Caller: “I got a paper cut. Do I need an ambulance or a band-aid?”
- 88. Caller: “There’s a spider in my room! Send backup!”
- 89. Caller: “My GPS stopped working. I’m lost in my own neighborhood!”
- 90. Caller: “Help! My phone died, and I don’t remember my WiFi password!”
- 91. Why did the coffee shop call 911? – Their espresso machine was in hot water!
- 92. Why did the bakery call 911? – Someone stole their secret dough recipe!
- 93. Why did the computer call 911? – It had a serious virus!
- 94. Why did the librarian call 911? – Someone yelled in the quiet section!
- 95. Why did the movie theater call 911? – Too much drama in one row!
- 96. Why did the golfer call 911? – He had a hole-in-one… on his car’s windshield!
- 97. Why did the barber call 911? – Someone gave themselves a DIY haircut!
- 98. Why did the musician call 911? – His guitar string snapped in the middle of a solo!
- 99. Why did the office worker call 911? – He lost his stapler and panicked!
- 100. Why did the scientist call 911? – His experiment exploded (again)!
- 101. Why did the chicken farmer call 911? – His hens staged a great eggscape!
Conclusion
911 operators and emergency responders deal with all kinds of calls – some serious, some bizarre, and some just plain hilarious! These funny 911 jokes bring out the humor in unexpected situations. If you enjoyed this list, be sure to share it with friends and spread the laughter! 😆🚑🚔🔥