Ready to laugh until the sirens stop? These police puns are so good, they’re criminal! Whether you’re writing a cop-themed joke book, celebrating Police Week, or just need a laugh, this list of 175+ police puns is your best backup. We’ve organized them into fun categories, so you’re sure to find the pun that fits your scene. Let’s roll out!
175+ Funny Police Puns To Arrest Your Boredom
👮♂️ Section 1: General Police Puns
- I tried to make a pun about police, but it got arrested for being too corny.
- The police station has the best donuts in town—it’s a well-known cop-secret.
- I told a cop joke. It got booked!
- That officer really cuffed my attention.
- Stop! You’re under a-rest… for bad puns.
- I called the police about missing cookies—they said it was a crummy case.
- Cops don’t like traffic jokes—they always blow a siren about it.
- Why did the tomato call 911? Because it got sauced!
- That detective always keeps things under wraps—he’s a real case closer.
- This pun is so bad, it should be on the most wanted list.
- The cop didn’t like my jokes, so he issued a pun-ishment.
- I got caught stealing a calendar—now I’m doing time.
- The police officer couldn’t make it—he was booked.
- I got pulled over for my jokes—they were dangerously funny.
- I made a police joke, and now it’s under investigation.
- When cops play poker, they always keep an ace under arrest.
- The policeman said I had the right to remain punny.
- That officer is arresting hearts everywhere.
- Why do cops love fish? Because they’re always on the hook!
- I gave my dog a police badge—now he’s a Paw-lice officer.
- It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta patrol it.
- Don’t lie to the police—they can smell a line-up.
- That police sketch was so bad, it should be outlawed.
- Cops make great musicians—they always know the beat.
- A police officer’s favorite movie? The Fast and the Curious.
- Arresting puns is my duty.
- I asked the officer if I could go—he said, “You’re free to pun.”
- That was a bold statement—you’re going to court for it.
- Be polite to cops—they can write ticketing puns too!
- The police made a pun—they’re now on pun-trol duty.
Also Read: 156 Mirror Puns To Reflect Your Sense of Humor
🚨 Section 2: Detective & Investigation Puns
- That detective was so smart, even Google asked him questions.
- It’s a closed case—sealed tighter than a jar of peanut butter.
- The detective’s favorite dessert? Clue-clairs.
- I hired a detective who always follows his gut—he’s a real intuition-ist.
- The thief left no crumbs—guess he cleaned up his act.
- This mystery is toast—it’s been cracked!
- She’s a real Sherlock Homie.
- What do detectives do in their spare time? Solve Rubik’s clues.
- I started a detective agency called “You’ve Been Served.”
- Detectives hate stairs—they always lead to another level.
- The best detectives never skip a beat—or a snack.
- I tried to be a detective, but I kept losing the plot.
- Why did the gumshoe quit? He couldn’t stick to the job.
- That detective’s sense of humor is a real clue-breaker.
- Some cases are hard… but I donut care.
- The detective wore a cape—he was a clue-perhero.
- I tried hiding the evidence, but the dog sniffed it out—he was paws-itively brilliant!
- Detective by day, dad joke king by night.
- He saw through the lie—he had x-ray hunches.
- When in doubt, look for clues… or coffee.
- That clue was so obvious—it practically shouted!
- Clue me in—what’s the case of the giggles?
- That investigator is a real Sherlock pun-lover.
- Solving crimes and making rhymes.
- The case got cold… so we gave it a jacket.
- My detective friend broke up with me—she said I wasn’t a good suspect.
- If puns were evidence, I’d be in pun-itentiary.
- I went from crime scene to meme scene.
- Case closed. Joke opened.
- This pun might be suspicious, but it has an alibi.
🍩 Section 3: Food & Donut Police Puns
- That donut was so good, even the police took a bite out of crime.
- Officer, I donut know what happened.
- That cop was glazed and confused.
- I asked for backup and got a box of donuts.
- Donut mess with the law!
- Powered by coffee, fueled by justice.
- Sprinkle some justice on that case.
- The chief said: “Time to roll out”—with jelly donuts!
- Cops love their job because it’s sugar-coated.
- I tried to bribe the officer—with sprinkles.
- That donut thief is now in a jam.
- Crime-fighting runs on caffeine and glaze.
- Jelly-filled justice is the best kind.
- Arrest me—I ate the evidence!
- A balanced diet is a donut in each hand.
- This crime is half-baked.
- You’re the apple fritter of my eye, officer.
- That donut hole was a real crime scene.
- The chief always says: “Make dough, not war.”
- Life is sweet when you’re on the force.
- Donuts: the real handcuff of friendship.
- He’s got a license to glaze.
- I tried baking justice—it crumbled.
- My diet plan? Donut patrol.
- That joke is jelly illegal.
- If you sprinkle while you tinkle, you’re under arrest.
- The glaze of justice is strong with this one.
- Donut forget who’s in charge here.
- Cops love carbs—and catching criminals.
- Suspect caught. Coffee brewed. Donuts devoured.
Also Read: 147 Burn Puns That Are Too Hot to Handle
🕶️ Section 4: Cool Cop & Squad Goals Puns
- Squad goals: solving crimes, eating donuts, looking cool.
- That officer is cooler than a polar bear in Ray-Bans.
- Freeze! You’re too stylish to run.
- When the cop squad walks in slow motion—you know it’s business time.
- That patrol unit is straight outta chill town.
- No cap, this cop has all the caps.
- They arrested me for being too fabulous.
- The squad’s motto? Chill, then thrill.
- Justice never looked so fresh.
- That cop’s sunglasses are brighter than my future.
- The crime rate went down after the squad dropped their mixtape.
- Cool cops don’t chase—they vibe.
- Flashing lights, no stress.
- We’re not just officers—we’re peace stylists.
- Cuffing crime with class.
- That cop squad is smoother than fresh pavement.
- Drip so legal, it’s criminal.
- Squad car? More like style-mobile.
- Polished boots, polished puns.
- No one out-chills the chief.
- Always on beat, never off duty.
- Cop swag = evidence of cool.
- Freeze! Fashion police.
- Arresting looks, literally.
- The squad motto: Slay, then slay again.
- Cops walk like every step’s a photoshoot.
- We don’t write tickets—we write trends.
- Crime never rests, and neither does our drip.
- Wanted: for being too iconic.
- On-duty or off, always on point.
🐶 Section 5: K-9 & Animal Cop Puns
- That police dog deserves a round of a-paws.
- Pawsitively the best on the force!
- Who let the dogs out? Oh, it was the K-9 unit.
- That German Shepherd is barking up the right criminal.
- A pup on patrol is worth two in the pound.
- Canine sense is sharper than a human’s.
- Fur-real, these dogs solve crimes.
- Claw enforcement at its finest.
- This tail has a twist—it ends in justice!
- They’re paw-some protectors.
- That dog is on the scent of justice.
- He sniffed out the case in no time—paws down!
- Dog-tective at your service.
- He’s got a badge and a bark.
- Woof you don’t comply, you’re going to jail.
- Bark first, ask questions later.
- No bones about it—this dog is a hero.
- It’s a ruff job, but someone’s gotta do it.
- K-9: keeping it furry and fair.
- Justice has four legs and a wet nose.
- That pup just sniffed out my lunch AND a suspect.
- The suspect fled. The dog said, “Not on my leash!”
- Bad guys beware—the pup is here.
- This dog doesn’t fetch—he arrests.
- Fur the love of law.
- A bite of justice, served cold.
- That tail is wagging… must’ve caught a criminal!
- You have the right to remain barked at.
- Bark-nado of justice!
- Paws for justice!
⚖️ Section 6: Bonus Pun Patrol
- Crime is illegal—but so are these puns.
- Wanted: punny content!
- You’re under a-rested development.
- I got caught in a sting… operation of jokes.
- They’re watching you—like undercover comedians.
- Caught red-handed… with a crayon.
- Police puns: keeping the peace with laughter.
- Puns so good, they should be cited.
- Don’t resist—these jokes are arresting.
- Serving justice… and sass.
- Report all bad puns to pun enforcement.
- That siren’s not for danger—it’s a laugh alert.
- Suspect: you, for smiling too much.
- The case of the giggling detective.
- No warrant needed for these puns.
- Cop a laugh—no ticket required.
- You have the right to remain hilarious.
- These puns are on patrol 24/7.
- It’s a law-nch break—have a pun.
- Joking is legal when you’re this funny.
- Cuffed by laughter.
- The real law? Always pun responsibly.
- That joke needs backup—it’s too funny.
- Don’t cross the line… unless it’s a punchline.
- Police jokes: guaranteed to crack the case—and a smile.
- These puns are undercover—until now.
- I swear, officer, it was a setup… for a pun.
- Suspect detained for excessive wordplay.
- The humor is armed—and extremely punny.
- You’re free to go—with a laugh.
🔚 Conclusion
Police puns are a great way to lighten up any situation, from classroom activities to party jokes or Instagram captions. Whether you’re saluting a cop or just cracking up your friends, these 175+ puns will surely arrest attention and bring smiles. Share them, print them, or keep them in your pun-locker for later!