120+ Funny Jokes About Airports [Latest]

Airports are filled with funny moments, from hilarious announcements to quirky passenger behaviors. Whether you’re a frequent flyer or someone who avoids airports at all costs, these jokes will make you laugh out loud. Here are 120+ of the funny jokes about airports, categorized for everyone to enjoy.

120+ Funny Jokes About Airports

Airport Announcements

1. Why do airport announcements always repeat twice? In case you were busy ignoring the first one.
2. “Attention passengers: If you left your phone at security, please stop calling it. We can’t answer!”
3. My flight was delayed because the pilot heard an “unusual sound.” Turns out, it was just the crying baby in row 5.
4. Why do airport announcements sound like gibberish? Because they’re speaking “plane” English!
5. “Flight 404 is now boarding… just kidding, we can’t find it!”
6. “Attention passengers: The moving walkway is broken. Please walk at your own risk!”
7. Why did the airport hire a comedian? To make the delays more bearable!
8. “This is a final boarding call for… everyone who isn’t listening.”
9. Why are boarding announcements always so confusing? Because they’re plane impossible to understand!
10. “Your flight is delayed due to ‘technical issues’—translation: we don’t know either!”
11. What’s the funniest thing about airport announcements? They always sound like your old dial-up internet.
12. “Flight 123 has been overbooked. Volunteers to stay will be rewarded with… eternal patience.”
13. Why do airport announcements always interrupt your nap? Because they like catching you off guard.
14. “Attention: The baggage carousel is now serving as a children’s playground. Enjoy!”
15. Why did the announcement voice quit? They were tired of repeating themselves.

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Pilot and Crew Jokes

1. Why do pilots always tell bad jokes? To keep their humor up in the air!
2. I asked the pilot if my flight was on time. He said, “Define ‘time.’”
3. Why don’t pilots ever get lost? Because they always follow the plane truth!
4. My captain told me the turbulence wasn’t that bad. Then why is my coffee on the ceiling?
5. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We’ll be flying at an altitude of ‘I hope I know what I’m doing!’”
6. What do pilots say when they tell jokes? “Let’s take off with some laughter!”
7. Why don’t pilots play hide-and-seek? They’re bad at landing it.
8. The pilot said we’re 30,000 feet in the air. I hope he doesn’t drop us!
9. Why do copilots make great friends? They always have your back—unless it’s turbulence!
10. The captain said, “This is your in-flight entertainment,” and started juggling safety cards.
11. Why don’t pilots tell secrets? They’re afraid of leaks in the cockpit.
12. My pilot told me to relax. Then he started laughing. Should I worry?
13. Why do pilots love jokes? Because they always land well!
14. “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached our cruising altitude. Please feel free to panic silently.”
15. What’s a pilot’s favorite movie? Airplane! (obviously).

Passenger Humor

1. Why do passengers always rush to board the plane? To secure their spot in the sky!
2. I brought snacks for my flight but forgot the patience for the long line.
3. “Excuse me, sir. That’s not your seat.” “It is now—finders keepers!”
4. Why did the passenger bring a ladder to the airport? To board early!
5. I asked for an aisle seat, but all I got was a cry-l seat (next to a crying baby).
6. Why did the passenger bring a pillow to the airport? For emotional support.
7. “Excuse me, where’s my seat?” “Wherever you can squeeze in!”
8. Why do passengers clap when the plane lands? It’s either relief or disbelief!
9. I asked the guy next to me for his seatbelt. He said, “Hold on, I’m using it to hold my sandwich.”
10. Why did the passenger carry a fish on the plane? For a little air-oceanic adventure.
11. “I packed everything… except patience for boarding.”
12. Why don’t passengers like middle seats? They’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.
13. I asked for legroom, and they handed me a ruler. Thanks, airline!
14. Why do passengers always bring snacks? Because airplane meals are just a suggestion.
15. Why do planes have armrests? To start fights between passengers!

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Travel Delays

1. Why are airport delays like bad relationships? They both keep you waiting with no explanation!
2. My flight was delayed so long, I considered building my own plane.
3. What’s worse than a flight delay? The announcement that it’s delayed “indefinitely.”
4. Why do flights always get delayed? The pilots are just winging it!
5. “We apologize for the delay. Your gate has been changed… to next Tuesday!”
6. Why do airports love delays? They make time fly… for the airport, not the passengers!
7. I’m stuck in a delay so long, I think I live here now.
8. Why do delayed flights feel like doctor’s appointments? Because “soon” could mean hours!
9. My flight was delayed because “the pilot overslept.” I need to meet this pilot!
10. Why are flight delays like bad jokes? They never land when you want them to.
11. “Your flight is delayed because of weather.” It’s sunny outside!
12. I was delayed so long, I started writing a book: 101 Ways to Survive Delays.
13. Why do airlines never admit their mistakes? They just blame it on turbulence.
14. I asked the gate agent how long the delay would be. She said, “How much time do you have?”
15. “This is your captain speaking: We’re delayed because… well, let’s call it ‘a mystery.’”

Baggage Mishaps

1. Why did my luggage become a comedian? Because it’s always getting carried away!
2. I told the baggage handler a joke… but it went right over his carousel.
3. My suitcase went on vacation to Paris, but I went to Florida. Who’s the real traveler here?
4. Why don’t bags tell jokes? They don’t want to lose their carry-on credibility.
5. “Your luggage will arrive in… another country. Bon voyage!”
6. Why do suitcases always get lost? Because they have no sense of direction!
7. My luggage arrived late… just in time for my return flight!
8. “We found your luggage, but it’s on a different vacation.”
9. Why do baggage handlers make bad magicians? They can’t make your bags reappear!
10. My suitcase is so well-traveled, it doesn’t need me anymore.
11. Why did the bag refuse to leave the carousel? It enjoyed going in circles!
12. I packed my favorite shirt, but my bag decided to wear it to another country.
13. Why do suitcases love airports? Because they always meet new travel buddies!
14. My luggage is better at hide-and-seek than I ever was.
15. Why did my bag go to Hawaii? Because it wanted a vacation without me!

Security Check Fun

1. Why don’t airports hire magicians? Because they’d make the lines disappear!
2. I told security I was carrying jokes in my bag. They said, “We’ll have to scan for punchlines.”
3. What’s the scariest part of airport security? Forgetting to take your shoes off!
4. Why do TSA agents make bad comedians? They always bomb on stage.
5. “You beeped! Please remove your sense of humor and try again.”
6. Why did the laptop blush at security? Because it was getting scanned!
7. “Please empty your pockets.” “What about my hopes and dreams?”
8. Why do security checks take so long? Because everyone’s got baggage.
9. I told the TSA agent I was carrying jokes. He said, “I’ll let you through if they’re funny.”
10. Why did the security scanner beep at my socks? They were too current!
11. “Sir, your bag has liquids.” “It’s just tears of frustration!”
12. Why don’t airports allow comedians through security? Too many punchlines.
13. What’s the TSA’s favorite hobby? Bag Tetris.
14. Why do airports have so many rules? To keep you guessing!
15. I told the TSA agent a joke. He said, “Nice try, but we don’t allow humor through.”

Airplane Food Jokes

1. Why is airplane food like a bad movie? It leaves you hungry for more.
2. I asked for chicken, but they gave me rubber. Tastes about the same.
3. Why don’t chefs work on planes? Because nothing takes off in flavor!
4. “Would you like beef, chicken, or pasta?” “Does it matter? It all tastes like cardboard!”
5. Why did the sandwich refuse to fly? It didn’t want to be in a pickle.
6. Why did the bread roll refuse to fly? It was already feeling crumby.
7. “Chicken or fish?” “Surprise me.” And they did—by serving me pasta!
8. Why do people eat airplane food? Because hunger takes off faster than the plane.
9. The only thing worse than airplane food is the price tag for snacks.
10. What’s the best meal to bring on a plane? Anything from not the plane!
11. Why don’t planes serve fresh food? Because they like to keep things plain.
12. I asked for a steak, but they gave me a rare apology instead.
13. Why is airplane coffee so bad? Because it’s always grounded.
14. The soup was so watery, I thought I was swimming in turbulence!
15. Why do flight attendants laugh at airplane food? Because they don’t have to eat it.

General Airport Humor

1. Why do airports love math? They’re always trying to figure out plane geometry!
2. Why did the plane blush? Because it saw the airport strip!
3. What’s an airport’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop (on the tarmac).
4. Why don’t airports have swimming pools? Because planes don’t dive!
5. What’s the best way to avoid long lines? Fly imaginary airlines.
6. Why don’t airports host comedy shows? Because the delays are already funny enough.
7. Why did the airport become a therapist? Because everyone there has baggage!
8. I saw a guy talking to his suitcase. He said, “You’ll fit in, just roll with it.”
9. Why do airports make terrible dance clubs? No one’s got the moves!
10. What’s an airport’s favorite kind of humor? Sky-high jokes.
11. Why did the plane get an award? For being outstanding on the runway!
12. What do you call a plane that tells jokes? A laughliner.
13. Why do airports love jokes? Because they like to keep passengers entertained.
14. Why did the airport hire a comedian? Because the baggage claim was too serious!
15. What’s a pilot’s favorite part of the airport? The terminal laughs!

Conclusion

Airports are a treasure trove of comedy, whether it’s quirky announcements, funny passengers, or hilarious security checks. These jokes are perfect to lighten the mood on your next trip or while waiting at the gate. Remember, laughter is the best carry-on for any journey!