Looking for a good laugh? Little Johnny is back with his witty, mischievous, and downright hilarious jokes! From school and math to family and doctors, we’ve categorized 40 rib-tickling little Johnny jokes that will have you laughing non-stop. Perfect for sharing with friends, teachers, and family. Get ready to giggle!
40 Little Johnny Jokes for Every Mood
1. Little Johnny School Jokes
- Teacher: Johnny, why are you late?
Little Johnny: Because I didn’t come early! - Teacher: Johnny, spell “banana.”
Little Johnny: B-A-N-A… uh, I know there’s another “na,” but I don’t know when to stop! - Teacher: Why didn’t you do your homework?
Little Johnny: Because I was saving paper for the environment! - Teacher: What is the capital of France?
Little Johnny: “F”! - Teacher: How do you make seven even?
Little Johnny: Take away the “s”! - Teacher: Why did you eat your homework?
Little Johnny: Because you said it was a piece of cake! - Teacher: What’s the longest word in English?
Little Johnny: “Smiles”—because there’s a mile between the first and last letter! - Teacher: Johnny, your essay on “My Dog” is exactly like your brother’s. Did you copy?
Little Johnny: No, we just have the same dog! - Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Little Johnny: A retiree! - Teacher: What do you call someone who keeps talking when no one is listening?
Little Johnny: A teacher!
2. Little Johnny Math Jokes
- Teacher: What comes after 69?
Little Johnny: Mouthwash! - Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Little Johnny: A math problem. - Teacher: How do you find X in an equation?
Little Johnny: It’s right there, in the question! - Teacher: What’s the best way to learn fractions?
Little Johnny: By eating half of my lunch! - Teacher: What’s the square root of 144?
Little Johnny: A dozen! - Teacher: If you had 10 chocolates and someone took away 5, what would you have?
Little Johnny: A fight! - Teacher: Johnny, how did you solve this math problem?
Little Johnny: With a calculator! - Teacher: Why is your math test blank?
Little Johnny: Because I’m practicing my invisible ink skills! - Teacher: Johnny, if I give you two cats and then two more, how many do you have?
Little Johnny: Five!
Teacher: No, listen carefully. Two cats and two more cats make…?
Little Johnny: Five, because I already have one at home!
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3. Little Johnny Science Jokes
- Teacher: What’s the chemical formula for water?
Little Johnny: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What?!
Little Johnny: You said it’s H to O! - Teacher: Why is the sun so smart?
Little Johnny: Because it has lots of degrees! - Teacher: Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Little Johnny: Because they make up everything! - Teacher: What’s the fastest way to double your money?
Little Johnny: Fold it in half! - Teacher: Why didn’t you do the science experiment?
Little Johnny: I was testing the theory of laziness! - Teacher: Johnny, name a fish that can fly.
Little Johnny: A flying fish? - Teacher: Why does lightning come before thunder?
Little Johnny: Because my dad says ladies always go first! - Teacher: What is an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?
Little Johnny: The space bar! - Teacher: Johnny, what do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
Little Johnny: A dino-snore! - Teacher: What’s the loudest pet you can have?
Little Johnny: A trumpet fish! - Teacher: What planet is known as the red planet?
Little Johnny: Mars! But I think it’s blushing because it’s shy!
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4. Little Johnny Home & Family Jokes
- Mom: Eat your veggies, Johnny!
Little Johnny: I would, but I don’t want to take their vitamins away! - Dad: Why didn’t you clean your room?
Little Johnny: I’m waiting for evolution to turn it into order! - Mom: Who broke the vase?
Little Johnny: Gravity! - Dad: What do you want for dinner?
Little Johnny: Something edible! - Grandpa: When I was your age, I had to walk 5 miles to school.
Little Johnny: Well, when I’m your age, I’ll have a flying car! - Mom: Go to sleep early!
Little Johnny: Define “early” in kid terms! - Dad: You need to listen more!
Little Johnny: Then turn up the volume! - Sister: You’re so annoying!
Little Johnny: That’s my part-time job! - Mom: I said no more sweets!
Little Johnny: But what about “one last one”? - Dad: Where’s your homework?
Little Johnny: On a top-secret mission!
Final Thoughts
These 40 Little Johnny jokes are guaranteed to keep you laughing! Share them with your friends, post them on social media, and enjoy the humor. Looking for more jokes? Stay tuned for more hilarious content!