Laughter is the best medicine, and there’s nothing like a great joke to brighten your day. Whether you’re at work, hanging with friends, or just relaxing at home, these clean and hilarious jokes for adults will have you rolling on the floor. The best part? They’re family-friendly, so you can share them with anyone. With 150 short hilarious jokes for adults clean divided into fun categories, you’re guaranteed to find something that tickles your funny bone. Let’s dive into the world of laughter!
150 Short Hilarious Jokes for Adults Clean
Workplace Jokes (30 Jokes)
- Why don’t skeletons ever work in offices?
Because they don’t have the guts! - My boss wanted me to start our presentation with a joke.
So I used my paycheck as the first slide! - Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged! - How do you organize a space party?
You planet! - Why did the employee bring a ladder to work?
Because they wanted to climb the corporate ladder! - I told my coworker that we should work smarter, not harder.
He started taking naps in the office. - Why was the office printer always unhappy?
Because it had too many problems! - Why don’t we ever tell secrets in an office full of computers?
Because they have too many bytes! - I was going to tell my boss a joke about unemployment,
but I was afraid it might not land. - Why did the calendar get a promotion?
Because it had all the dates! - What’s a vampire’s favorite part of the office?
The blood drive! - Why did the worker bring a pencil to the meeting?
Because they wanted to draw some conclusions. - Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts. - What’s a computer’s favorite snack?
A byte-sized cookie! - I love working from home.
Except when my cat keeps turning off my computer! - Why don’t employees play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when you’re being monitored all the time. - Why did the employee bring a stapler to the party?
Because they wanted to stay “attached” to the fun. - How do you make a tissue dance at work?
You put a little boogey in it! - Why was the office always so organized?
Because it had good “staff” management. - Why did the computer go to therapy?
Because it had too many issues to process! - Why did the laptop go to the doctor?
It had too many viruses! - I once had a job as a professional cricket player.
But I was a little worried about the spam filter. - Why was the desk always so neat?
It had “clean” working conditions. - What do you call an office that’s always on the move?
A moving target. - What did the receptionist say when the new intern arrived?
“Welcome aboard! Hope you don’t crash.” - Why was the office building feeling depressed?
Because it had too many floors to deal with. - Why do computers never make friends at work?
They always keep things on a need-to-know basis. - How do you stay calm during stressful meetings?
Keep your “composure” in check. - What did the secretary say when she was asked about her schedule?
“I’m booked solid, but don’t worry, I’ll pencil you in.” - Why don’t we use pens in the office anymore?
Because everything is done on paper now.
Also Read: 200 Knock Knock Jokes Dark Humor One-Liners
Relationship Jokes (30 Jokes)
- My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward! - I asked my husband to stop impersonating a flamingo.
He had to put his foot down. - Why did the couple go to therapy?
They just couldn’t “communicate” in a way that didn’t involve WiFi. - I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised. - Why don’t we ever fight about the remote anymore?
Because she’s finally realized Netflix and chill is a life goal. - My partner asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall.”
I said, “Maybe… you’re gonna be the one that saves me!” - I said to my wife, “I don’t know why we’ve been arguing.”
She said, “Maybe it’s because you think you know everything.” - What’s the secret to a happy marriage?
Two words: “Yes, dear.” - Why don’t couples ever argue during Christmas?
Because they’re both too busy stressing over gifts! - My wife says I’m not romantic anymore.
I said, “Well, I guess that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.” - Why did the married couple go on a diet?
Because they wanted to be in “shape” for each other. - I told my husband, “You complete me.”
He said, “No, you just complain me!” - What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts. - Why did the man bring a pencil to the date?
Because he wanted to draw a conclusion. - My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down. - What did the boyfriend say to the girlfriend who was feeling down?
“Don’t worry, I’ll ‘lift’ you up!” - I told my partner that I loved them more than pizza.
They said, “That’s a cheesy compliment.” - Why did the couple never fight about money?
Because they didn’t want to “spend” their time arguing. - Why was the romantic couple so good at solving problems?
They always came up with a “solution” together. - I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for Christmas.
She said, “Nothing big, just a small fortune!” - Why did the man give his wife a pencil for Christmas?
Because he wanted to “draw” her attention. - I asked my partner to stop impersonating a flamingo.
He had to put his foot down. - Why did the couple go to therapy?
Because they had too many “issues” to work through! - Why did the couple have a happy relationship?
Because they always “clicked” on the same page. - What’s the secret to a long relationship?
Never stop saying “I love you” – even if you’re too tired. - Why did the couple keep getting in trouble at the gym?
They couldn’t stop “working out” their differences. - Why did the couple go on a diet together?
Because they wanted to “scale” back on the calories. - What did the guy say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
“I’m ‘falling’ for you!” - Why do couples go on vacations?
Because they need some “away” time together. - Why did the couple go on a date at the zoo?
Because they wanted to “lion” around.
Also Read: 100+ Hilarious April Fools Day Jokes You’ll Love
Food & Drink Jokes (30 Jokes)
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised. - Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing! - Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up! - What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta. - Why do bananas never feel lonely?
Because they hang out in bunches! - What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine! - Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish! - What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot! - Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged! - How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall! - Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems… just like me after eating too much pizza. - What did the waiter say to the customer who complained about their food?
“Don’t worry, we’re on the case – it’s gonna be a souper solution!” - Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
To get better buns! - What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The kitchen… because it’s full of “chews.” - Why can’t you trust tacos?
Because they’re always up to something shady! - Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy! - What did one cucumber say to the other?
“You’re dill-icious!” - Why do donuts never get lonely?
Because they always have a hole lot of friends! - How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together! - What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese! - Why did the pineapple stop in the middle of the road?
Because it ran out of juice! - Why do mushrooms like to party?
Because they’re such fun-guys! - What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs. - Why don’t some couples go to the bakery?
Because they just can’t “knead” each other anymore. - What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
I scream! - Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs! - Why did the lemon refuse to take a bath?
It was feeling zest-y! - What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef. - What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator! - Why did the baker break up with their partner?
Because they kneaded space!
Punny Jokes (30 Jokes)
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down! - I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
So I started to “knead” a new job. - I’m terrible at math, but I’m excellent at counting my blessings.
And that’s something to “sum” up! - I had a pun about the wind, but I decided to let it blow over.
It was a “breeze” to let go. - I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off! - I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
It’s a “brioche” opportunity! - I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something. - I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the penalty.
It’s just too much to “kick” around. - I made a pun about the sea.
But it was too deep to understand. - I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid.
But he says he can stop anytime. - I tried to catch some fog earlier.
I mist. - I’m friends with all electricians.
We have such good “current” connections. - What’s brown and sticky?
A stick! - I’m afraid for the calendar.
Its days are numbered. - Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts. - I once heard a joke about a pencil, but it was pointless.
It didn’t “draw” me in. - I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
I’m really “rising” to the occasion. - I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant.
But then I changed my mind. - What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream. - I used to be a heavy smoker, but now I’m a “lighter” version.
I’m working on reducing my “exhale.” - The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
He’s truly a real “spice” of life. - What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back for “seconds.” - I tried to start a hot air balloon business.
But it never took off. - I don’t trust people who do acupuncture.
They’re back stabbers. - Why was the music teacher so good at math?
Because they knew their “scales.” - I gave up my job as a professional juggler.
I just couldn’t handle it anymore. - Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired. - Why do we never tell secrets on a farm?
Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk. - I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
Now I just knead a new job. - Why don’t you ever see pigs playing basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the “hog”ging the ball!
Miscellaneous Fun Jokes (30 Jokes)
- What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved. - Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired! - Why do fish never do well in school?
Because they’re always swimming below “sea” level. - I told my computer I needed a break.
Now it’s frozen. - Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks! - Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them! - I broke my finger last week.
But on the other hand, I’m okay. - I used to have a job as a professional cricket player.
But I was stumped. - What’s the best way to make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it. - I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
But I lost my case. - What did the snail say when it rode on the turtle’s back?
Wheee! - Why don’t skeletons ever fight?
Because they don’t have the guts. - Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives! - What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite! - Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted. - Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake! - I told my dog I wanted to be a professional rollerblader.
He said, “You’re paws-itively crazy!” - I lost my job as a professional cricket player.
I was just stumped. - I want to be cremated as soon as I die.
It’s my last wish. - Why can’t you ever trust stairs?
They’re always up to something. - What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck! - Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field! - What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick. - What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved. - Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole-in-one! - I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised. - Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts. - I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
So I started “kneading” something new. - Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field! - I wanted to start a band.
But my talent was a little “off-key.”
Conclusion
Laughter is the best way to lighten the mood, and these short, hilarious, and clean jokes for adults are perfect for any occasion! Whether you’re looking to share a quick laugh with friends, family, or colleagues, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to everyone’s face. Keep them in your back pocket for when you need a quick laugh or a way to break the ice. After all, a good joke can make even the dullest day a little brighter!